The bars are not enough

Courtney Escher

Courtney Escher

Every weekend multitudes of students and probably some locals flock to the Plaza to partake in merriment and fun times. Not me.

I can’t stand the bars at the Plaza. They’re always super cramped and way too loud. The drinks are not worth the six bucks a pop they charge you, and quite honestly they all share a distinct smell that is a mix of sweat, vomit, well liquor and anus.

The Plaza totally blows, but it’s not all the Plaza’s fault. They are probably under the impression that since people keep coming back they must be doing something right. This is a completely skewed perspective, but can you blame the Plaza when you see the people that frequent its bars?

Youths full of life and schnapps often yelling loudly and acting out the chorus to Katy Perry’s insufferable hit, “Last Friday Night (TGIF).” Girls squeal and twerk badly while guys grumble out the worst pick-up lines you’ve ever heard in your life and mimic the actions of a two-year-old with stunning accuracy.

These kids are the worst kinds of people and in the Plaza they are simply unavoidable. Your freshman year and your 21st birthday should be the only time when acting ratchet and sloppy is slightly socially acceptable, because any other time is embarrassing and not at all attractive.

What is attractive is going to a bar where people are able to have conversations. A bar where there is space to mingle and they don’t take your chair away because the party is getting real. A bar where men that act like adult men will politely offer ladies who act like adult ladies the poison of their choice, and then leave—not expecting her to drop to her knees with gratitude.

So let’s put it all out there. If you are over the age of 20 you should act like it. Don’t act like me. I’m perpetually sour, and my weekends usually consist of staying inside.

Don’t think that just because you’re old you can’t get weird. Just leave that business at house parties where it belongs. Please be mature when you’re at the Plaza. Who knows, if we all band together it may have a fighting chance at becoming relevant again.