Those tempting Atlanta teams

James Farmer

Have you ever had that one boy or girl in your life that leads you on, but never takes you where you want? He or she has flirted with you, and you have flirted back, but when it comes time to make a move, that person just won’t come through and leaves you heartbroken. Well that’s how it feels being an Atlanta sports fan.

Just last Monday, the Braves decided to call off our date with the postseason by way of a Juan Uribe homerun in the eighth inning. You could say I felt like I got stood up. It was the second time in two years that the Braves could not make it to the National League Championship Series. Look at the pitching for this Atlanta club and you’ll feel a sickening sense of the 90s creeping on. Great pitching, young stars and not jack squat to show for it in the postseason.

But then again, the Braves have been playing this game for 20 years. The Falcons are like that girl in high school who, all of a sudden, got hot one summer when you weren’t paying attention. The braces came off, the glasses came off and the benefit of a few years of agonizing viewing suddenly came together. The Falcons won a playoff game and had the best record in the league bolstered by early draft picks they gained from being awful. So when this ugly duckling turned swan looked like the hottest commodity in the market going into this season, Atlanta fans felt good about themselves. Of course when she showed up to school with chicken pox and about 20 extra pounds, we didn’t know what to do with ourselves.

Then there’s the Hawks, the reasonably attractive girl everyone knows is a great person, but is ultimately disappointing. You’ll take her out, enjoy yourself, maybe even upset a few great teams, but when it comes to kiss her good night, she pulls out her purity ring and says, “I don’t believe in going past the second round.”

At least the Thrashers had the common courtesy to move away after breaking our hearts.

Of course, these temptresses break my heart, but when push comes to shove, I’ll ask them out to the championship. Maybe they’ll say yes next time.