Do you know what happens in that Leslie Gore jam “It’s My Party”? Her guy goes off with some other girl. At her birthday party. I’m willing to bet that, like me, you guys secretly enjoy watching shows, movies and hearing jams wherein someone does something super sketch to someone else, so long as it gets resolved, and it’s not happening to you.

I have a friend. Let’s call her Samantha. One guy led her on for a year only to drop her suddenly. Another guy strung her along for months and then just left town without a word. Yet another flirted with everyone around her until she couldn’t take it, and another blatantly broke her heart into too many pieces to be fixable. These things all have one thing in common: they suck. So obviously, it will come as no surprise that she despises the idea of relationships and what they stand for. There are moments when she cozies up to the idea of a relationship, but she just can’t pick them. Ok fine, I’m actually Samantha. Hi, I’m Van, and I’m what we call “terminally single”.

I’m a lunatic. Really. I mean, I’d date me, but I scare guys by being this all-encompassing ball of all the emotions. I’ve found ways to cope. I’ll tell you all the bits.

I love myself. Even when I’m being weird, I don’t care. I tell myself constantly that I’ve been solo for a long time to let me get to know myself, so I can be solid in that foundation when I finally meet who I’m supposed to meet. I have different playlists of good jams to keep me from harping on the negatives. I go out with my single friends because they are on the USS Struggle Boat as well. I periodically buy a new piece of clothing that makes me look (and feel) like more of a sexy beast than I already am. I have mini-marathons of shows I’m behind on. I read gossip magazines in line at Wal-Mart to make sure the celeb couples I hate have broken up, as I predicted. I’m realistic about finding Mr. Right in college, but being realistic doesn’t have to mean pessimistic. I’m young, I’m having fun, I’m not responsible for anyone’s happiness but my own, and I take that responsibility very seriously – as should you.

I hope this week was grand, and gently cuddled you in your heart. If not, tomorrow is Friday. Healins and blessins, y’all.