Friends Who Ask for Advice, But Don’t Use It

Brianna Quarterman

It’s a Friday afternoon, classes have just ended, and you’re looking forward to a nice peaceful evening watching movies in bed. The phone rings and you’re best friend calls you complaining because of some dumb guy or girl or minor situation.
They tell you how everything happened, what they said, how they said it, down to the very breaths and eye rolls they gave in between each pause, literally every specific detail. Eventually they stop and ask you that million dollar question that most friends who need or are seeking guidance ask…. “What should I do?”
So what do you do? Do you continue to give them advice? Or do you politely go along with their bad decision making just for the sake of sparing their feelings?
Should you knowingly let your friends make mistakes that are going to cause them even more pain then the situation they are already in?

Here are a few tips of advice for the classic “Best Friend Speech:”

  • Because they are your best friend, walk them through the ins and outs of why they may have made the choice they did.
  • Console them to let them know everything is okay
  • Tell them they’re not a bad person and that everyone makes mistakes
  • Be sure to refrain from making comments like “I told you so” or “you should’ve just listened to me” because nothing stings more than having someone throw in your face how they knew you were going to fail or experience heartache when you are already at your lowest.

Sadly, unless you can just jump in her brain, the fact of the matter is: you have to let your friends make their own mistakes. Sometimes being so quick to judge can be a huge turnoff and make your friends not want to confide in you anymore.
When they’re ready, they will make a change in their own time. The important thing is to just be patient. And continue to be the best friend that you know how to be.