Gossip Gus: Making Finals Magical


Image pulled from google under the “creative commons license”

Hi Eagle Nation, Gossip Gus here!

The Student Accessibility Resource Center here at Armstrong is trying to alleviate our stress of finals with special goodie bags.

But these goodie bags may not be as innocent as they seem.

Aside from offering free advertising for the school and their offices to locals and potential students, these goodie bags also contain a Magic 8 ball to aid students during finals week.

“The way we see it is it’s not cheating. We’re simply allowing students to get a glimpse of their future, and how they decide to do that is up to them.”

A student says that they spotted SARC volunteers cornering magic shop employees this weekend and loading their vehicles with boxes marked “magic.”

Supposedly, the Magic 8 balls have been cleared by professors to be used on all exams but that process wasn’t easy.

“We had a mass tarot card reading for all Armstrong professors,” one volunteer stated.

“We thought that leaving it to the experts was best. And we let the cards decide that for us.”

It has not been confirmed that any of these methods will help you ace your finals. But these Magic 8 balls might help, and they’ll leave you with a nice souvenir.

What can I say? Armstrong really knows how to make the campus magical. I’ll have my eagle eye on the ball this week.
And who am I, you ask? That’s one secret I’ll never tell. You know you love me.
— XOXO Gossip Gus