College was always an abstract goal for me. An idea that seemed too far off to fully accept as an option. I never understood how people knew what they wanted to do for the rest of their lives at such a young age, to cut off all other options and focus everything on one goal or outcome to me is admirable, but at the same time terrifying.

People asked me months ago what my plans were after high school and I didn’t really have a true answer for them. Now people ask me why I’m going to college and what I plan to get a degree in and I honestly have no idea. I’m so sure about many things in my life, but when someone asks me something as simple as what do I want to study in school and I’m lost.

Both my parents went to college and my father spent long time getting his masters in extremely higher level mathematics, while this degree was very prestigious, it didn’t help much in getting a higher paying job to combat all of the debt. With the debt looming over my family I was fearful of pursuing college, but my sister was older than me and she made it through with significantly less debt than most people I knew.

My sister has always been my role model and I try my best to do things however she did. Unfortunately I didn’t take my grades as seriously as she did and it led to me having a harder time securing financial aid. Money has always been a large factor in my life and I felt it most prominently while applying to college, especially when I didn’t really have a plan for what I was going to do once in college.

I think a large part of the reason that I chose to come to college was my want to feel more free to do what I want in my life. I feel like a large weight has been lifted off my shoulders since coming to college. I’ve met people, expanded my tastes and preferences. I feel like I’m able to take on more responsibility and handle it better than I did back in high school.

So as I find myself in this exciting new environment I’m in, I will continue to tell people what I always say when they ask why I chose to come to college. I’m here to learn how to live, not in any specific way currently relating to a major, I just want to take some classes and see where it’ll all take me.