How To Walk On the Pedestrian: A Guide

Billy Ziegler

For the last few weeks, I’ve noticed a string of occurrences around campus, mostly located within the pedestrian.

Whether it’s during lunch, afternoon busy hours, or after class people somehow forget this simple idea: order. 

Two lanes were built as a walking path and that’s the original intention for it. 

But of course this was before the huge advent of the mass produced Wal-Mart bicycle, so everyone walked one path, and walked the opposite path the other way and it was nice. 

Not to trash my fellow bike riders but y’all threw a wrench in the mix. To add bikes in the mix, have the outer sides a bike lane, or at least bike safer, such as a pullout lane for a highway.

Now the main problem for Southern, as we have our own I-16 right through campus, is that some people have no idea how a road works. 

Honestly, it’s the second week or so since y’all moved in, I seriously hope y’all haven’t forgotten the rules of the road. 

There are two paths to create efficient order, which are: right lanes go past Hendy to the Carroll and continue onward. 

In simple English, left lanes go the opposite side, stretching from Newton side toward Lakeside and containing onwards as well.

Sorry for reminding you, but studies show that y’all obviously forgot which side was which. 

Thinking on this, I’ve decided some healthy tips for young freshmen or rebels who haven’t decided how to oil society instead of being a rusty cog in our paths. 

● Bikes (this is currently an idea in development) go on the right side of every path, ergo left lane: right bike path, right lane, right bike path. This will ensure that our high speeders will have the room needed to slide into that bike rack.

● Do not stand in the road. Firstly, if a car was heading straight after you, would you move to the side or stand in front of it talking on the phone?

● Thinking on this, if this conversation can’t wait for class and you also need to use the path, try using the public benches located on the side of the pathway. The university put them there for a reason, please use them.

● If you seriously love her so much that you can barely move from the spot you are in, move to the grass. Sure, you can waste her time but that doesn’t mean you should waste ours. 

● Lastly, and this is for you bikers, slow down. You left your apartment 10 minutes ago, but it literally takes two minutes to get all the way through the Pedestrian, please slow down to smell the flowers, trust me you will definitely not be late.

With all that being said, I want to thank those that respect the rules of the path that were already naturally set and I want to thank future pedestrians in our path system for being productive and not veering off the sidewalk to catch a Pidgey.