As the cold days of fall begin to grace us with their presence and the rain leaves us in a state of perpetual dampness, we are entering deep into Cuffing Season.
As many of you know from my detailed reporting on this phenomenon around this time last year, cuffing season is defined by Urban Dictionary as the time “during the Fall and Winter months when people who would normally rather be single or promiscuous find themselves along with the rest of the world desiring to be ‘cuffed’ or tied down by a serious relationship.“
But for every person who wants to be cuffed, there are those who would like to remain single and for them, colder months bring a different type of romantic endeavor.
Though it is frequently practiced throughout the year, there is no better time than now to learn about the art of Netflix and Chill. Netflix and Chill or the “millennial booty call” has become more rampant amongst college students in recent years.
Loosely defined as “the act of going over to someone’s place to begin watching a movie with the underlying intention of hooking up,” like Cuffing Season, Netflix and Chill grew from Black Twitter and Black Tumblr and blossomed into mainstream use.
It’s convenient to those who are too cheap to spend money on a legitimate date and prefer to get their body heat from another human being. Netflix and Chill is common throughout the year, but escalates in the fall. It’s most common amongst the most vulnerable of us all: the lonely that have too much on their plate for a relationship and those who are so stressed by the upcoming finals that they have to find kinky ways to relieve their stress.
But what makes Netflix and Chill more special than just a regular hook up? It’s the craftsmanship. You see, it takes a lot of work to actually get someone to want to come over to your place, pick the right movie and have things set up right in case you both end up consenting to activities of the sexual nature.
To help you out this year I present to you, 10 easy steps to master the art of Netflix and Chill.
1. Have Netflix
It’s kind of impossible to Netflix and Chill without it, unless you have some other type of streaming service like Amazon Prime or Hulu. You’re definitely not going to get someone to come over to your place to watch basic cable, unless it’s “Game of Thrones”, “The Walking Dead” or “Empire” all of which they will actually want to watch and you’ll never get to the chill part.
2. Keep the other person informed
You and whomever you are planning to chill with should know the specifics of your romantic situation. It is un- fair for you to make someone feel as if a possible long term commitment will come out of these hook ups when you know good and well that you only want to have someone to occasionally sleep around with and not have to pay $8 a month to watch House of Cards. Be considerate of other people’s emotional well-being and let them know upfront what your intentions are.
3. Don’t be too thirsty
If you ask someone to Netflix and Chill with you and they say “no,” move on. Continuous texting, social media stalking and continuously pressuring someone to spend unwanted time with you are not chill. Not only will you ruin your dating prospects from being labeled a creep because you can’t take no for an answer, but you also might get yourself into a legal situation. Being desperate is not a good look.
4. Pick a good place
It’s most likely going to be one of your bedrooms. Here is where things become tricky. If you are living on campus there is a possibility that you share a bedroom with other people. That’s fine; just make sure that they won’t be there that night or if your partner has a room to themselves go to their place. 1) I’m sure your roommates don’t want to watch or hear you 2) It’s going to be really hard to find someone who is okay with being intimate in front of other people.
5. Clean your room
Wash your sheets, take those pizza boxes out and clean up that clutter. You know what’s scarier than a horror flick? Watching a roach crawl across the wall in some- one’s room. You can’t expect for someone to chill in a room that smells like old soccer cleats and Cheetos, or that has clumps of your hair and make-up everywhere. Pull yourself together before you bring someone over.
6. Pick a movie
Here comes the part where you need to pay attention. Do not. I repeat. Do not pick something that you actually want to watch. No “Orange Is The New Black” or “Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt.” Stick to things you and they have most likely already seen or that you wouldn’t care to miss parts of. This includes Disney movies, old scary movies, or anything that has gotten a score of rotten (green splat) on Rotten Tomatoes.
7. Protect yourself
If you and your Netflix and Chill buddy want to have sex it is extremely important that you protect yourselves. That means some form of contraception. Protecting yourself and your partner from contracting a sexually transmitted disease or an unwanted pregnancy is of the upmost importance. It’s okay to ask a sexual partner if they have had a recent STD screening.
8. Back out if you need to
If you come over to someone’s house or you go over to theirs and all of a sudden you feel uncomfortable or the situation gets sketchy you can and should leave. Don’t feel like you owe them anything just because they invited you to their place.
9. Get consent
I don’t think I should have to remind you of this if you actually took your Haven course, but you need to get consent before engaging in anything sexual. Just asking before they come over to your place doesn’t cut it. You need to make sure that you and they are down with everything that you do together.
10. This is not for everyone
Remember that you do not havetoNetflixandchill.Some people like myself are made for long-term relationships and wouldn’t consider any- thing like this. That’s com- pletely okay! Just watch from the sidelines and don’t let anyone coerce you into doing something you aren’t comfort- able with.
It’s Friday night. You start feeling lonely, but most of your friends are out of town and the turn up has been slow. You think about going to a kick back, but the last time you went people started doing the most. You think about binge watching something but don’t want to be by yourself tonight.
This cutie that you met starts blowing up your phone. A plethora of emojis start to be used. Suddenly, an eggplant followed by a winky face is sent to your phone. They start complaining about how bored they are at their place. You ask them to “come watch Netflix and chill.”
They arrive at your place. You ask them into your room. You log into your friend’s account. You spend way too much time trying to figure out what to watch. You finally settle on a romantic comedy. You’ve both seen it before but that’s okay.
You’ve been watching the movie for awhile now. You’re starting to get bored. All of a sudden your roommate barges into the room and spoils your plan. You try to devise a way to get them to leave, but they want to watch the movie with you.
Your roommate finally stops making things awkward and leaves. Now you guys are alone. You make sure that you both consent to what’s about to go down. (At this point things become too explicit to be written in the paper).
Netflix and Chill accomplished.