#10 Get a New Hobby: Thanksgiving is an entire week that is free of classes. Let’s be honest- you’re not doing any homework over the break. You could always break out the Sudoku book you haven’t used since 2006, or you could learn a new hobby. Anything goes- whether it’s taming blue jays or disassembling your microwave and putting it back together.
#9 Dealing With the Overbearing Grandparent: Need to get out of a seemingly endless conversation with a grandparent? You could always suggest that the whole family get “ThnxgvngBrk2K15” tats. You could also tell your conservative grandfather that you’re “Feel[ing] the Bern.”
#8 How to get Away From Your Creepy Uncle: Just pass him off to your more accomplished cousin, or pass him more alcohol.
#7 How to Avoid the Gross Food: From congealed salad to Pinterest recipes gone wrong. To avoid the scary, new cheesy corn casserole your “cool aunt” made, tell your family that you are only eating home-grown, GMO-free food from now on.
#6 The Never-Ending College Questions: Variety is the spice of life, so, when asked what you are majoring in, be sure to change your answer with every relative you speak to. Relatives will be thrilled to hear about you are saving the world, one whale at a time, as biology major. You could talk about your passion for general studies or how you plan on using your English degree to launch your new “How To” blog. Your first article “How To Date a Sarcastic Girl With a Mellow Heart” will no doubt be a hit.
#5 “Get Out”: Whether you are getting out of an awkward conversation, or avoiding the Thanksgiving clean-up, “I have to study for finals” is always a good excuse.
#4 Holiday Weight: To avoid working out over Thanksgiving Break, “The Middle“ suggests “eating pants.” These can be found in the maternity section. They have a comfortable elastic band in the stomach.
#3 How to Make it to the Adult Table: Get pregnant, get married, or “remove” a seat holder at the adult table- these are your only options.
#2 Striking Up Convos: Want to start up the family conversation? Poll your family to find out what everyone’s favorite Killers song is. You could also encourage a vegetarian thanksgiving by buying a “tofurkey.”
#1 How to Figure out What You are Most Thankful For: It is probably this helpful article, or your roommate, or Hillary Clinton.
Hannah Pressey also contributed to this article. Hannah Pressey is a sophomore business marketing major from Winterville, Georgia. Follow her blog at 2manycharacters.wordpress.com/.