Gentlemen, it’s that time of year. Put that razor on the shelf for a month, you’re in for a long ride of scraggily facial décor. Here’s the thing: Not all of us can pull of a face full of fluff. I am one of the many men who suffer from “I can’t grow a damn beard and I’m bitter” syndrome. But for the men who can, and with the help of a few girls, here’s a guide to the Do’s and Don’ts of “No-Shave November”
If you wanna do it, do it. Fun Fact: No-Shave November is actually an attempt to raise awareness for prostate cancer. Show some support, ditch the razor and embrace the facial forrest.
Do Not: Let it grow out of control.
You want to say “I’m a man” not “I’m on meth.” Trim the monstrosity; tame the beast. Your significant other is not going to kiss you if she thinks the thing on your face may bite her back.
Do: Be stylish with it.
Beards are rad, it’s a proven fact, especially with the moustache craze that has filled our culture for the past few years. Find some trimming tools, maybe some other styling products and rock it.
Do Not: Grow a pornstache.
Unless you’re going to star in “Pulp Friction,” “Jurassic Pork” or “The Bangover,” you can’t rock it. It’s creepy, and your girlfriend is afraid it may actually be a caterpillar.
Do: Have a rockin’ ‘stache.
Handlebar it or blend it in with the rest of your manscruff, don’t let it become a caterpillar, but mustaches can be a great thing. Maybe if you listen to enough Mumford and Sons, it’ll grow into a hipsterific creation.
Do not: Grow a neck beard.
Guys, if you don’t have scruff on your cheeks, don’t participate with a beard. Neck beards are all bad. If you are not Edward Mordake from “Horror Story,” it is not okay. Also, if your beard is patchy, find a way to fix it.
Do: Enjoy it.
Shaving is no fun, it’s actually my least favorite part of the morning. A month without it is going to save you time and money.
Do Not: Be ashamed to shave that thing before Thanksgiving. Seriously, you don’t want to scare your great-great-grandma when she sees that her little Jimmy is now a Wookie.
Do not: Say anything bad about girls who participate.
No one likes a sexist; if your girlfriend wants to participate, let her. It’s only a month, and how do you think she feels when she has to deal with the carpet on your chest? Besides, the entire point is to raise awareness for prostate cancer, it’s not hurting anyone.
Happy No-Shave November!