Owls sing gleefully along to the sound of a morning alarm that always comes too soon. A tennis racket silhouettes the lace curtain draped in front of the opened bedroom window as a delicate hand grabs hold of the clock. A snarl and scream silenced the birds, deafening the new day. Though, morning and day never truly comes for the residents in York City. Another alarm goes off, so again dark fingers grab hold of a new clock. They tossed up above the tennis player’s head and slammed her racket hard.
“DAMN IT, ALLEY!”
Alley giggled as she stretched her toned figure against her frilly pajama top and shorts. She poked her head through her drapes and watched her neighbor stumble off his chair on his back porch. The yellow crescent shone on the old man who rubbed his scalp where a large bruise had formed, though it was hard to say if it was new or not. Laying beside him was a chipped alarm clock and a hound like beast, unconscious with the other alarm lodged into its skull. Its long, orange tongue hung limb across a row of jagged jaws. This one was smaller than they normally are.
When the two neighbors locked eyes, they exchanged a morning greeting, though one was much less friendly.
“Hit the mutts and miss me.” The old man groaned as he stumbled through his back door.
“He doesn’t know one thing about work/fun balance.” Alley lazily waved goodbye, picked up her teddy bear and swabbled herself in her bed. She rubbed her tan cheek against its dark fuzz, drifting her back to sleep. Alley caught a few short moments of bliss before another alarm went off from below her pillow. The muffled melody vibrated her head as she moaned into her bear. She lumbered out of bed, the straps of her tanktop following suit by falling along her strong, but still petite, shoulders. Alley began to take off her top, but stopped when she saw her teddy bear watching her.
“Sorry, Beary,” Alley draped part of her blanket over its eyes. “You’ll have to pay to see these twin peaks.” She dragged herself feet over to her closest where one of the doors was a floor to ceiling mirror. Opening the closest with one hand and stripping off her pajamas with the other, she gazed into her pink parade. From leopard spots and white lace to zebra stripes and pale bows, getting dressed for the day was the hardest choice any girl had to make. Alley thought about how cruel the world could be as she slipped into her chunky leg warmers. Next, was her pink plaid mini skirt with a matching loose tie hanging from her white button up. Alley posed in the mirror, one hand on her hip and the other on her thigh, as she thought she was ready for school.
“WAIT GIRL!” Alley’s reflection pointed out her lack of accessories, product placement or anything early 2000s popular. “We gotta put the whore in horrendous.” A mad blur of leopard print, hair clips and dangly charms spun around the girl’s room. The blanket covering Beary’s eyes fell, showing the toy what a real doll looks like. Alley’s peridot green eyes popped against the white corners of her makeup and her pink garage hood gave her that extra pink pop she loved. Of course, she could never have too much pink, so she added a fresh coat of bright bliss to her long acrylics. After she checked every inch of the gyaru girlie in the mirror, Alley left her room for the kitchen.
The syrupy smell of pancakes wafted upstairs as Alley hurriedly followed its trail. Her breakfast was plated on the edge of the kitchen table with twenty one shot glasses surrounding the meal. When she got closer, Alley saw a sparkly card next to what could only be seen as God’s goodwill. The card was from her mom and dad wishing her a happy birthday. Her parents were always busy with work, but they never left the house without leaving out breakfast for her. Alley’s body grew warm, not just from the shots she was taking while reading her card, but from the love of her parents. When she finished her final swig of hennessy, she thought about her boyfriend, Rod Weiler, and what gift he must’ve gotten her. They had been dating for two months, that means things are getting serious.
“What if he finally says he loves me?” Alley thought as she ate one of her pancakes. The held back highschooler had been calling Rod her heldback husband for about a month. She liked older, more mature men, so it only makes sense she found the only guy at York High who had been held back longer than Alley. Though, mature may be too generous a term for Rod, but no one was going to break the news to the lovesick girl.
“What if he picks me up like a bride? What if he proposes? We’ll be the cutest couple at prom this year.” Alley’s mind wandered to thoughts of their wedding, their honeymoon, their everything. She had barely touched her pancakes when her eyes caught a glimpse at the clock in the kitchen.
“I’M GONNA BE LATE!” Alley coughed up a few wet parts of her pancake and bolted for the front door. Right as she was about to leave, she realized she completely forgot her school bag and tennis racket for afterschool. Alley readied to sprint up to her room, but stopped when a shine from the nearby couch caught her attention. It came from a new duffel bag, filled with shiny school supplies and a custom made tennis racket. Large spikes jetted out along the circular rim of the racket. Its strings were bright pink, like a spider web decorated for a rave. Attached to the handle was a note from Mom.
Have fun today Sweetheart, Love Mom.
Alley hugged her gift tightly, nearly impaling her head in the process. “I’ll make sure to thank her bunches when she gets home.”
Throwing her duffel bag around her shoulder and gripping the tennis racket, Alley threw open the front door to be met with a large hellhound.
“You must be Momma Wolf.” Alley grabbed a tennis ball from her bag. “Let’s play!” She spiked the ball, hitting the beast square in the chest and turning its body into a window. The hellhound fell flat at her feet, its body twitched for a moment and then stopped as it began to glow a faint crimson hue. Red sparkles seeped from its body into the ground until its monstrous form disappeared. Alley smiled out at the streetlamp lit street that led to school, a path filled with hounds of the underworld.
“A hound hunter’s job is never done, huh.”
***
The road glimmered like gems of red blood as Alley slashed her way through the neighborhood. Everyday, she had to kill any hellhounds she saw before school to help her parents. Alley never saw this as a chore though because it helped her wake up. Due to the city’s eternal night, it’s difficult for her to stay up and active without getting her body count up before the first period.
As she got close to the entrance of school, Alley saw Rod with a girl she didn’t recognize. She was thin enough to have a thigh gap, but unproportional enough to have a reverse pear shape. Her body pressed tightly against her clothes that looked like a school girl costume.
“He’s just being nice.” She hid behind a tree to watch the two. “We’ve talked about that before, but I’ll remind him about boundaries later.” Alley clutched the handle of her racket as the girl stepped closer to Rod.
Her lips looked full, even from a distance.
She grabbed the sleeve of his varsity jacket and looked at him with soft, sad eyes.
Alley readied a tennis ball.
As the girl got closer, Rod grabbed her shoulders and threw away from him. A hellhound pounced right where they had stood. The beast howled a wicked call at the school girl, its sunken eyes emitting hot hunger. Alley spiked a ball, but the hound dodged it and lunged at the student. Rod grabbed its back leg, bringing the monster to a sharp fall. It whipped its open jaws around and bit the jock’s shoulder. Alley spiked another ball, this one killing the beast, but it was too late. The girl had run away and a faint orange glow emitted from under Rod’s jacket.
“Rod! Rod, are you okay?” Alley’s voice cracked as she rushed over to him. Rod was on his knees, leaning over and gripping his shoulder.
His breath was heavy.
His shut eyes leaked bright orange and his body began to grow.
Alley cupped her mouth with both hands as her boyfriend groaned and snarl with every inch he grew. His jeans ripped from the canine muscle suddenly sprouting across his body. When he finally faced his girlfriend, he had turned into a damned mutt of a man, teeth bared and growling.
“I can’t do it.” Alley dropped her tennis racket.
Rod slammed his head into her gut, throwing her on the ground. Alley squeezed her eyes shut. She gripped her duffel bag as the hound dug his fangs into the fabric. He thrashed at her bag for what felt like hours.
Then he stopped.
Alley opened one eye and saw Rod chewing on a brown paper bag. When a bag of chips fell out, he dropped to the ground and lapped out the snack with one swipe of his tongue. He looked up at her with soft eyes, the whites now orange, but his brown iris sat the same.
“Rod?” His girlfriend reached out a shaking hand to him.
He took it in his large claw.
“Happy Birthday, babe.”
***
Alley squealed as she tackled the beast, wrapping her arms around his sturdy neck and swung around his figure. She felt Rod’s full chest rise and fall like the ground during an earthquake while he bellowed a deep laugh. Despite the hair, despite the fangs that she wasn’t yet ready to admit are hot, it was still him. Though through her joy, her dad’s words slithered in her skull: If anyone gets bit, put them down. The late bell interrupted her thoughts that surely wouldn’t have an impact later and reminded the couple that despite being grown adults, they still had four periods of grueling classes before they could figure out anything related to Alley’s new pet.
“Alright,” Alley dusted off her duffel bag and packed away her racket. “I have a presentation on some Roman king I fell asleep reading about, so I’ll see ya baby.” She jumped up towards Rod and kissed his fuzzy face, leaving a small, pink mark on his dark fur. He returned the gesture by running his tongue along her face. It reminded Alley when she tried water sports her second senior year, except this was considerably more slimy. Thankfully, her shots from earlier that morning had started kicking in, so she was only slightly pissed about her makeup being lapped up.
Alley hurried to the front door and down the empty hallways of York High, but kept hearing thuds that mimicked every step she took. When she got to Mr. Wright’s class, she peered over her shoulder and was met with Rod a few inches away from her, wagging his stubby tail expectantly.
“Aw, Roddy, you’re so sweet making sure I got to my class.” She kissed him on the forehead and waited for him to go to his class.
Except, he didn’t move.
When Alley gestured for him to go, Rod titled his head to the side and asked why.
“I want to be with you, it’s your big day after all.” He brought a claw behind his back and started to fumble for something, first calmly, then with every seemingly failed touch, more frantically.
“Oh damn it. My bag is outside.” He pulled Alley in close, noses nearly touching one another. “I’ll be right back with your gift.” With that a proper kiss, albeit a tad ticklish, he took off at sight.
Alley wanted to laugh at the sight, but a cold hand rested firmly on her shoulder and sent a stitching shiver along her jaw. She slowly looked behind her to see Mr. Wright glaring down at her through thick glasses.
“If you’re done with your high school sweetheart,” He spat. “You’re up first to share your report.”
***
Alley shakingly stood in front of her class, her hands clenched around her report. Mr. Wright groaned as he gestured for his student to actually present her paper. While his expectations were low, Alley knew she couldn’t share her one and only, poorly typed paragraph and doodles with her class.
“What if four eyes here went first?” She pointed at a girl sitting in the front row, who glared through her thick lens.
“Alley…” Mr. Wright dragged a heavy hand down across his face.
“No, seriously!” Alley grabbed hold of the girl’s hand and pulled her out of her chair, positioning her to face the class. “Look at how smart she hopefully is. I bet she’s got a crazy good Greek story.”
“You mean Roman.” The girl whispered
“Girls!” Mr. Wright slammed his leather hind foot against the titled floor of the classroom. The room shook, subtle at first, then deeper rumbles thrashed under the classes’ feet. Bursting through the door came Rod, his school bag held tight between his fangs. He stopped only for a moment to scan the room and, when he saw Alley hiding behind her classmate, his tail poked through his jeans and wagged. Rod barreled towards the two girls, only stopping due to his collusion with the girl Alley pushed in front of her.
“Happy birthday, babe!” He smiled through a muffle. Alley took the bag and opened it to be met with twenty one roses.
“Awwww Roddy.” She stepped carelessly on the girl still stuck under Rod’s shredded converse shoes. As the girl screamed, the couple embraced, soft pecks first, then heavy, hot kisses.
“MISS STAR! MR. WEILER!” Alley popped her head out of Rod’s mouth to see Mr. Wright was as red in the face as her roses.
“Sorry, teach. I guess we got carried away.”
“Get your mutt of a man out of my class.”
“But can’t he stay here? He’s gone through a lot today. Some hooker was flirting with him.”
“That hooker was my daughter and she didn’t know you two were dating.”
“Is that a yes?” Alley and Rod looked at him with their best puppy dog eyes, though Rod came by it naturally.
“Alright, alright.” Mr. Wright sighed. “He can stay for today, just sit down.”
Alley jumped into Rod’s arms, giggling as her boyfriend stepped off a trampled student and carried Alley to her desk.
“Morgan, since you’re already at the front, you’ll present. I need a break before hearing about Miss Star’s project.”
The flattened girl groaned with the occasional crack, most likely several fractured limbs, reading herself as Alley snuggled close to Rod.
***
The day went on like that: Alley gets to class, Rod interrupts, they make out till their teachers give up and tell them to sit together in the back of the room. If it wasn’t for the constant hair Alley had to take out of her mouth, it seemed nothing had changed. She assumed the same when the last bell for school rang and it was time for tennis practice.
“I’ll see ya after football.” Alley kissed Rod’s nose. He licked her cheek. He starts to turn away, but snaps his head over his shoulder.
“Oh I forgot to tell you; Coach canceled practice today.”
“Damn, what?” Alley crossed her arms. “There go my plans of watching you practice when mine ends.”
“Why don’t I watch yours instead? I’m sure Coach Court is chill.”
“YES! Who’s the smartest boy in the world?” Alley scratched behind Rod’s ear as he pushed his head into her chest, chuckling “I am” for longer than is publicly acceptable.
***
“Alright, maxi pad maggots, listen up.” Coach Court slammed her racket into the fence of the tennis courts, making another hole, like she did every practice. “We’re gonna start with warm up matches, so partner up with someone your skill level.”
A light couple of taps on Alley’s shoulder meant her partner found her. Jane Doe was the second team captain with Alley and the only girl able to match Alley’s adult strength.
“Ready captain?”
“Just a sec.” Alley took out her water bottle and a breath of intoxication wafted through the girls’ noses. The adult HighSchooler took a long chug from her bottle, tapped her hazardous racket against her left shoe and belched her war cry.
The two girls took the left and right end of the court, each antsy to beat the other. It was Alley’s serve. She bounced a tennis ball down against the ground and up to her, each time Rod stared at the ball. His eyes glazed over like he was hypnotized. Alley threw the ball high into the air and right as struck, Rod attacked. He tore through the fence and chased the ball, stopping for nothing, not even the crunch of bones or squish of organs. The team looked on at the carnage. Coach Court trembled. He only stopped after getting the ball into his mouth, biting hard until his prey popped.
“I’m so getting benched the next game.” Alley sighed.
***
Principal Demia held her face in her palms, muttering to herself. Aside from her hushed rambles, her office was quiet, except for Alley slowly sipping the last bit of vodka from her thermos.
“Are you drinking alcohol in front of me?” Principal Demia kept her eyes closed, but still knew Alley was nodding her head. The two of them had grown familiar with this situation. Alley passed the bottle to her principal and Ms. Demia finished it in one gulp.
“When you crashed my car, I thought that was as bad as things could get.”
“To be fair,” Alley took a flask from Rod’s claws. “That was my first time driving drunk. I’m way better now!”
“Isn’t today your twenty-first birthday?”
“And you still haven’t wished me a happy birthday.”
Principal Demia opened her eyes enough to glare at her student as a knock came from her office door.
“Come in.” The principal smiled.
“Snitch.” Alley spat while sinking deep into her chair.
The clack of heels from red bottoms and leather boots clicked along the floor and separated to stand still on opposite sides of their daughter’s seat.
“When you asked for a dog,” Her mother snuck a look at Rod. “This wasn’t what you meant, right?”
Her father stayed quiet, shotgun held steady in his hands.
“Alley, wouldn’t we step outside for a moment.” Her mom tried to wrap her arms around her, but Alley pushed the chair back, hitting her mom and sending her toppling against Rod. She stayed flattened on the ground with her boyfriend, staring down the barrel of her dad’s gun.
“PLEASE DADDY! YOU CAN’T!” Tears fell and ran down her thighs. “I love him! He’s my heart, my soul, my reason to live!” Rod kept his head down and his eyes shut. “I’LL SHUT OUT THE WINDOW IF YOU SHOOT!”
Mr. Star put his gun down, not due to her threat since the principal’s office is on the first floor of the school, but because his migraine was getting worse with every screech from his siren of a daughter.
“There might be a way to turn him back into a human.” Her father creased his brow as Alley’s cheerful scream pierced his ears. “You’ll need to take him to Cerebus. He lives in the chasm down the street from our house. If anyone can fix Rod, it’s that mutt.”
“Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!” Alley squeezed her father hard and he held her for just a moment before peeling her off of him.
“Get gone before I change my mind.” He said, staring at Rod.
“We were never here. Bye mom! Bye dad! Bye Ms. Demia!” Alley and Rod grabbed their bags and took off without a second glance, much to the dismay of their principal who hadn’t given them a punishment yet.
***
The couple quickly arrived at the pit of hell, though now looking down, the task seemed more difficult than they had hoped. Alley didn’t realize how hard she had been holding Rod’s claw, how anxious she was to fix him, until Rod squeezed her hand. He looked down at her with soft eyes and a smile that melted her heart.
“Ready?” He took a step towards the hole.
“Set.” Alley stepped closer.
“Go!” They both jumped, letting their feet drag against the walls of the chasm as they slid down layers of brimstone. The bottom was searing hot like a Florida beach during spring break filled with drunk college students. Alley shook her head to leave her fantasy because a low growl echoed in the cave. Stalagmites shook, threatening to crash down at any moment. Then a harsh silence hushed the cavern. If Alley had hair on the back of her waxed neck, every strand would’ve stood straight. Rod growled as he stepped behind Alley.
“What’s up…” She trailed off while turning around and staring at a yellow tinted reflection of herself. The mirror was split between six, satellite like eyes, each paired with rows of plaque covered saws. Cerebus found them.
“What business do you have here?” The middle head barked.
“We need you to break Rod’s curse. Doggy style gets boring if that’s his only style.” Alley took a step back when the beast snarled at her and quickly added “No offense.”
“It’s unorthodox to commit such treason against ourselves.” The right head spoke. “Your city is the birthplace of evil, so it’s only fitting some residents get corrupted by it.”
“But I’m not corrupt!” Rod growled. “I’m a good boy, just like Alley says.”
“Even good boys can be bad.”
The two heads turned towards the left one, a mix of surprise and annoyance painting their faces. The third head held his eyelids down as he spoke, only occasionally opening one eye to be sure everyone was paying attention.
“Let’s give them a chance. It’s not everyday we get new playmates.” He fluttered his lashes at Rod.
The two heads growled, slow at first, then louder as their body glowed hot fire. A burst of flames engulfed them, only stopping once the heads fell quiet. Where Cerebus stood now were three men, each having a dog head and bodies draped in ebony leather. The man on the left stepped forward, his baby blue eyes slowly exposing themselves.
“The rules are simple: you two have three tests and need to pass at least two for your stud’s cure. One of us will be competing with y’all in each test, so be quick before we finish first.”
“Easy, what’s the tests?” Alley pulled her arm across her chest to stretch.
“Sit, roll over, fetch.” The man on the right said. His molten red eyes told the couple the last part of these tests.
Win or die.
***
Alley and Rod’s first opponent was the middle man. His eyes shone two different colors of fire, each hot for a victory. The two dogs stood near them and raised one hand each. A spark ignited in their hands and a freshly baked treat spawned into their palms. They reach out their hands to let the pastry smell waft past both Rod and his opponent. Their tongues dropped heavy and wet at the temptation near them. Slowly, the two men began to walk backwards, wiggling the treats in their charred hands as they went.
Alley crutched close to Rod’s ear. “You can’t eat it. It’ll turn your belly to jelly, babe.”
Rod crushed his eyes under his brow as he dug his claws into the warm earth. The sweet air teased him while Alley continued to fat shame him.
“I…” Rod panted hard, harder than Alley had seen before. I’m gonna…”
“Not yet.” Alley pleaded. “Just a little longer.”
“AND THAT’S IT!”
The couple swapped confused looks. When they looked at their opponent, or more so where he should’ve been, a small divit was left in place and he was a few meters away eating a treat off the ground.
Twin blue eyes locked on to Alley. “We both knew he could hold out, but getting on his back for you is gonna be another story.”
For the second test, the one with eyes of magma was their challenger. Alley shuttered from the hot breeze he brought while he walked past. He sat on the ground and looked at the other two men expectingly. Meanwhile, Rod was trying to find the treats that had burned up from the Cerebus trio’s magic.
“Babe, come on!” Alley pulled his tail. “Lay down already.”
“Tick tock tweedle dumbs,” Blue eyes taunted the couple as he summoned a timer. “Whoever gets their dog to roll over the most in one minute wins.” His acrylic claw clicked the start.
Rod flopped on to his back, but instead of rolling, he squirmed and stretched. Alley reached to push over herself, but an ember crackled near her foot. The two mutt men nodded their heads side to side.
“Rod, babe, love of my life crisis,” Alley got on her knees and cupped her hands together. “STOP SCRATCHING AND ROLL!”
But the timer informed her it was too late and the score was tied. Alley looked over at the three clotting dogs, each wearing a grin like cracks in amber. She shuttered at the thought of Rod’s last test.
“Finally the test and I’ll be playing this round.” His feminine voice heightened as he summoned two balls of fire and grasped them hard till they hissed into pieces of hardened ash. He dropped one into Alley’s hand.
Alley stared at the dark matter, letting it stain her fingers as she pressed into it. She tried to swallow her nerves, but they got stuck in her throat, sharp and cold. A large claw held her shoulder, shaking Alley out of her trance.
“We’re almost there.” Rod pulled her tight against his hairy chest. “Ready?”
She pushed him back with a giggle. “Set.”
They looked over at the trio. They nodded. “GO!”
Alley threw her ball and Rod shot after it. Alley couldn’t look at their opponents, not because she was afraid, but she knew even if she and Rod lost, they’d lose together. It was corny, really corny, but all she wanted was to watch Rod catch the ball.
He snapped his jaw like a trap around the ball and hurried back to Alley, sweat and spit dripping from his mouth. Rod tackled his girlfriend, dropping the ball into her chest and letting his hand linger on them when he went to pick it up. The couple looked to their side to see three different reactions: disappointment, loathing and boredom.
“This isn’t right.” One of the men said. “We should have another test.”
Alley opened her mouth to speak, but a glint from pastel eyes told her to let him. “We lost, big deal. They earned their potion.”
The other two mutt men growled as they grabbed hold of the third. The trio glowed bright while walking into one another, forming their beastly appearance once again. Cerebus tapped his paw into the ground and a small crack split underneath it. Alley peered into the hole to see a small bottle with a dog skull acting like a lid.
“That will cure your lover.” The middle head said. Unfortunately, the news fell on drunk ears and Alley without a second thought, downed the liquid inside.
Rod and Cerebus’s jaws dropped.
“THIS IS WHY WE DAMNED YOUR CITY! HUMANS ARE IDIOTS!” Cerebus roared as the ground beneath Rod and Alley shook. As quick as they had come down, the earth shot the couple up out through the chasm hole. The beast below bared his teeth once the couple reached the surface, a clear sign to never return.
***
The couple dragged themselves down the road, the weight of their destination heavy on their minds. Hounds that saw them laughed wickedly dry, not bothering to an attack that could distract the humans from their fate. Rod let his head hang low. Alley moaned as she rubbed her temple. The potion had gotten rid of her intoxication, but left the hangover.
“Maybe we don’t have to go in.” Alley stared at her front door. She held the doorknob without moving it or her.
Rod placed a silent claw over her hand and turned till they both heard a click. He kissed her aching head once, then again. After the third kiss, they opened the door.
Sitting on the couch, gun still in hand, was Mr. Star. He took the trigger off. “Get away from my daughter.” Iron barrels stared at Rod.
“Dad, he’s one of the goods.” Alley’s voice cracked as her heavy eyes drooped.
A gun fired.
Alley couldn’t watch.
When she heard her father curse, though, she spread her fingers and peeked through to see his hand had a small wound. Mrs. Star stepped downstairs, a pistol in her grasp.
“Enough of this. Rod’s a nice guy.” She made her way to Alley, ignoring her husband’s orders to get back upstairs. “Alley, do you promise to take care of that boy?”
Alley nodded her head up and down.
“If something goes wrong, you’re responsible for it.”
Alley nodded again. Her mother mimicked her and turned to return upstairs.
“The hell was that?” Mr. Star ran after his wife, whose only response was “Every girl should have a mutt of man at least once in her life.”
Rod licked Alley’s cheek as he pulled her into a hug. Alley held his back and etched her fingers into his fur.
“Carry me up to the bed?” Alley placed the side of her head into his pecs. Without a word, he picked her up bridal style and continued to kiss her.
“Good boy.”
