Disclaimer: Kat’s Korner is a satirical advice column and should in no way be taken seriously. My nineteen years of life experience have not given me the wisdom to seriously deal with the life problems of every student at Georgia Southern University. GSU has a Counseling Center that can be reached at (912) 478-5541.

Dear Kat,

I’m really having trouble getting along with one of my coworkers. Last week, she didn’t get any of her work done, so I had to do it all by myself. I’m so stressed.

Sincerely,

Undercover Ginger

Dear Ginger,

“Don’t you hate when people can’t get their work done?” I type as a red bar on the top of my screen lets me know that “Kat’s Korner” was due yesterday.

Seriously, you are in quite the predicament. Work is stressful enough without having to add someone else’s work to your own.

My advice is to sit down and talk with your coworker. Let them no that they are complete disappointment, and that you hate them. Ridicule them in front of your entire office as loudly and as obnoxiously as possible, so everyone knows what a victim you are.

You should start verbally and physically harassing them every chance you get, so they know that they need to get their act together. Seriously, just kick them in the shins if they sit too close to you.

If harassment in the workplace isn’t enough, you can start leaving them threatening voicemails and emails as well.

Of course, these suggestions may be a tad bit extreme. The best thing you can do is complain to everyone else as much as possible about how overworked you are because you choose to pick up on your coworkers slack. Only look for the bad in your coworker so you have plenty of things to be angry about when you’re watching and live tweeting “The Bachelor” all by your lonesome on Monday nights.

Peace Out,

Kat

Dear Kat,

I’m in college, and I get butterflies when I’m around this boy. I know he’s not interested, so I just ignore them. Plus, he’s leaving Statesboro soon, What do I do?

Sincerely,

Flies

Oh Flies,

How can you brush off what may be the truest love you’ve ever known so easily?

It sounds to me like you need to spend more time with this boy. You say that “you know” he’s not interested, but how do you know? You should ask him out. If he says no, cry hysterically and throw a tantrum until he agrees to go out with you or runs away.

If you really care about him, you won’t give up on him- even if he asks you to leave him alone. Persist. “No” really means “Try Harder.”

You could even start insisting that you two are dating. Tell everyone you know, and ask your family to post on his Facebook wall and “welcome him to the family.”

Take pictures of him when he’s not looking and make him your #MCM every Monday. This will surely win him over.

Be sure to invite me to your wedding!

XOXO,

Kat