Welcome back, Eagles! I hope you didn’t forget about your favorite feathered busybody with an eagle eye for gossip. If you’re anything like me, you spent your summer eavesdropping by the pool anxiously awaiting the return of the semester with all of its juicy drama.

I am happy to be back, and as always, I am here to bring you the latest news on campus.

With summer comes lots of changes. Some are obvious and some happen right underneath our beaks. In this case, the Inkwell has up and moved. Rumor is that they are holed up in a dungeon underneath the ARC.

Many have witnessed, myself included, a frantic Jabari Gibbs (editor in chief of the Inkwell) running around campus attempting to hoard food to take back with him. We are not sure why he is doing this, but there is a noticeable lack of food in the vending machines.

The tip-tapping of keyboards can be heard well into the night, and the sounds of frustrated shrieks match pitch with the roaring cicadas outside.

First-year students have to adjust to the constant presence of an Inkwell staff writer lurking in the corners of every event and class awaiting a story. I am just thankful they still accept my gossip reports through the barred window into their dungeon.

I will be watching carefully to see what these madmen are up to. Stay tuned to see what tales trickle out of the Inkwell dungeon this semester.

And who am I, you ask? That’s one secret I’ll never tell. You know you love me
XOXO, Gossip Gus.