Valentine’s Day is coming! Entire aisles of your local grocery store are dedicated to chocolates that’ll be 75% off by the end of the week. Fancy restaurants are working hard to make sure you and your special someone make reservations for an overpriced and undersized meal, and the local bars are welcoming the coming waves of lonely people who got dumped the week before.

I’m not saying that I don’t like the holiday. It’s a great excuse to remind your loved ones that they mean a lot to you, and the candy isn’t half bad. But I think that somewhere along the way, people forget that if you wanna do something special, then buying the same box of truffles after the third year in a row gets kind of stale. If you’re really looking to mix things up, then maybe you skip the fancy candles this year and look for something that’ll last, and I don’t mean going and putting a lock on the handrail of some bridge downtown.