As you loyal fans may know, “House of Cards” will be releasing its third season on Friday, Feb. 27. To commemorate this joyous day, we in the Features section want to get you caught up and ready to binge by giving you some information about what to expect this season.

First thing’s first, let’s have a recap:

(Warning: major spoilers are ahead. Seriously, if you haven’t watched season two stop reading. I mean it. Stop.)

• #TeamUnderwood is coming out in full force: Frank Underwood is now officially POTUS, which means that the ruler of the free world is a manipulative, sociopathic serial killer.

• This also means that Claire Underwood is now First Lady, which in my opinion is even worse because I can’t picture her reading books to small children or even being in the same room with them without being totally disgusted by their cuteness.

• Rachel Posner, the hooker turned waitress turned call center employee, is officially on the run for beating the mess out of Doug Stamper with a rock, caveman style. Admittedly, while watching this scene all I could think of was “This is Spartaaaaaa!”

• Speaking of which, whether or not Doug is or isn’t alive is up for debate (See Predictions).

• Lucas Goodwin is still rotting in prison after being accused of hacking government computers while trying to prove that Frank killed his girlfriend Zoe.

• Zoe Barnes still remains dead, as one would expect after being hit by a train. However, I sincerely hope that writers saw the opportunity to put Ms. Barnes in a few flashbacks or dream scenes where she haunts Frank’s dreams.

Season 3 Predictions

To prepare fans for the huge release on Friday, HoC has released a series of elusive teaser trailers to hype fans up about the events of the upcoming season. An analysis of these trailers and a search into the darker depths of internet forums has allowed us to bring you this list of possible events that may happen in season three.

• #TeamUnderwood may have made it to the White House, but there seems to be trouble in the East Wing. From the looks of things, Claire’s conscious is catching up with her and, although Frank may love her more than sharks love blood, she’s starting to realize that she doesn’t want to be a piece in his sick game anymore.

• Now here’s the big one: Frank’s right hand man Doug Stamper isn’t dead. After season three’s accidental release, fans quickly managed to grab screenshots of the aide recovering in a hospital bed.

• Gavin, computer hacker turned government spy, is now working for the FBI and is in the trailers shown sitting at an office, wearing an actual suit!

• However, this revelation brings me to ask the bigger question: Where is Cashew? Can the federal government not afford office-sized cages for guinea pigs? Wherever she is, I’m sure Cashew is plotting world domination. Forget the Underwoods, I’m betting on #TeamCashew.