“At some point in your life, I’m assuming this, you want your relationships to kick ass and be healthy and be awesome. That’s my assumption. Maybe you want your relationships for the rest of your life to just suck. That’s your choice, this is America.”

World-renowned sexual educator, Reid Mihalko, came to Georgia Southern University last Thursday attempting to turn all GSU students into “sex-geeks.” Mihalko is a self-proclaimed “golden retriever on espresso of sex educators,” whose presentation was filled with colorful language, tongue-in-cheek demonstrations and animated moans from the audience.

The goal of Mihalko’s presentation was to help students start talking about sex in a more empowering way so sex, love, dating and hooking up can become healthier as well as fun, and of course, prove that dorks can get laid just as much as anyone else.

“If you have the courage and ability to talk about some of the things that are most scary and awkward for people in this culture, you will have the kind of courage and boldness to talk about asking for a raise, to talk about really intense issues…learning to talk about this stuff openly changes your life,” Mihalko said.

“Spock was a ginormous sex geek.”

Bringing out a vulva puppet, Mihalko explained the mystery behind lady-parts. First thing’s first, the vulva is the outside of the vagina. The vulva consists of the labia, clitoris and the opening of the vagina. It’s important to know this because too many people go directly for the opening of the vagina before the vagina is ready. However, thanks to Mr. Spock, there’s a way to prepare the vagina.

1. Do the Vulcan sign with your hand.

2. Put your sign over the vulva

3. Drape fingers over the labia

4. Gently massage

“Orgasm long and prosper my friends,” Mihalko said jokingly.

“Most people are doing it being ninjas. They make no sound. No one must know that we are feeling any pleasure.”

Mihalko shared that making sounds and providing feedback is very important to having healthy sexual relationships. Most people have trained themselves to be quiet or have been shamed into becoming sexual mimes. Sexual mimes cannot express themselves sexually.

This type of person is not able to convey what is needed from a partner. It’s ok to make sounds. Letting out sounds conveys the message of satisfaction and enjoyment. Adding feedback also increases pleasure. Being comfortable enough to tell someone to slow down or use less teeth can only enhance one’s sexual experience with more pleasure and better orgasms.

“’No’ is a complete sentence.”

Rejection can be a major shut down to some people, but rejection is a part of life. One can train themselves to see rejection as a positive thing.

“When people say no to you, thank them for taking care of themselves,” Mihalko said.

Someone shouldn’t feel pressured or coerced into doing something they don’t want to do. Never try to convince anyone.

Experiences cannot be enhanced when people who aren’t enjoying themselves are around. It’s better for someone to say no than for you to have to deal with the grief and attitudes that comes with their yes.

“Asking permission and getting a verbal yes before you touch anyone will get you wicked laid,” Mihalko said. “Respecting people’s boundaries changes their experiences.”

Use consent as a tool for pleasure and follow Reid’s Law of Sex: whomever creates the most pleasure wins.

“Trying to learn how to be a better lover from watching porn is like trying to learn how to be a better driver from watching ‘the Fast and the Furious’.”

Many people don’t understand that porn is purely for entertainment purposes. Porn is made to look good. A lot of editing, make-up and lighting goes into creating porn. Viewers don’t see the process of performers negotiating sex, viewers just see the finished product.

“So [by watching porn] we think sex is: the door bell rings, the pizza guy shows up and everybody starts going for the hole,” Mihalko said. “There’s nothing wrong with watching porn for entertainment purposes, but it’s not exactly the best sex educator.”

Last Minute Lessons

Reid Mihalko went over many more areas of sex and relationships including the truth about the penis and safer sex. There is a Safer Sex Elevator Speech that can be found on his website along with a formula for difficult conversations. The elevator speech describes how to have the conversation with someone before you sleep with them.

The speech includes telling a person whether or not one has an STD, expressing what you like or dislike and sharing needs and risky sexual encounters. It’s important to have the speech because the speech helps navigate through the awkward and helps when assessing whether someone becomes a sex partner.

More Mihalko Methods:

1. Use lube

2. Don’t think about penetration until someone is warmed up.

4. Ask questions

5. Compliment people’s genitals.

6. Taste and tease before you tackle.

7. When somebody says “Just like that,” keep doing the exact same thing.

8. Crying and emotions are usually a good thing, don’t panic.

9.You are entitled to the sex you enjoy and the relationship styles that make you happy.

10. Get tested at least once a year.

Twitter: @ReidAboutSex #SexGeekGSU

Website www.reidaboutsex.com

Difficult Conversation: www.reidaboutsex/convo

Safer Sex Speech: www.reidaboutsex/elevator

Facebook: www.facebook.com/ReidMihalko

Email: reid@reidaboutsex.com