All You Need is Love (and Voodoo Dolls)

Michelle Norsworthy

In every direction, a teddy bear lies in wait to destroy you with its cuteness. Countless shades of pink and red cloud your vision , and a naked flying baby is aiming an arrow straight for your heart. In 72 hours, Valentine’s Day will be upon us.

Whether you’re the type that likes to shower your loved one in lavish gifts, or the type that wishes the seasonal aisle at Walmart would burst into flames, the day no doubt evokes passion and a flare for the dramatic.

Regardless of your relationship status, February 14 offers something for you. For the hopeless romantics, it’s a day chock full of flowers, mushy affection and candies.

For the singles, and those less impressed by the commercialism, there exists a day so full of angst and carefree attitude that it’s impossible to contain it all. It’s Anti-Valentine’s Day (also known as Singles Awareness Day), a clever counterpart to the standard.

FOR THE LOVERS

It can be hard trying to come up with a Valentine’s Day that has a wow factor. And if you’re strapped for cash? Forget about it! But here are a couple of easy ways to make the moment memorable – no matter if you’re in a relationship, or spending the day with family and friends!

1. Show off Those Skills, in the kitchen of course. Fancy dinners can cost close to $50 or more, for just two people. Save some dinero by cooking your partner’s favorite dish. It doesn’t have to be fancy, and you can score some brownie points for effort. Anyone can put in a reservation, but how many got the skills?

2. Movie Marathons. A great one for couples and for those who may not have a partner. You can still get all the sweet candy and cute cards, but in a much more relaxed atmosphere. Yes, okay, you’re not five anymore but renting all the best movies and eating good food with the family takes the pressure off of having to be bomb in the kitchen, the bedroom and in gift-giving. Also, 50 Shades is coming out but we can all agree watching that with Grandma Bobby Sue and Uncle Jimmy isn’t the best way to spend Valentine’s Day.

3. Get into Nature. It’s more than a cute little picnic. Unless your partner has allergy issues, taking a trip to the great outdoors can offer more privacy than the thin walls of your apartment does. Of course, it will likely be freezing and chattering teeth aren’t exactly sexy. An alternative would be to bring the great outdoors to you by setting up a blanket fort and hang pine scented car fresheners in there (or not). Ta-da! Now, you’ll be able to watch Netflix and avoid hypothermia. If that isn’t romance, I’m not sure what is.

[VALENTINE’S DAY PLAYLIST BOX]

The Love Playlist

“Baby I’m Yours” by Arctic Monkeys; “I Found You” by Alabama Shakes;“Better Together” by Jack Johnson; “Tonight (Best You Ever Had)” by John Legend; “Latch” by Disclosure; “Earned It” by The Weeknd; “All of Me” by John Legend; “A Couple of Forevers” by Chrisette Michele

FOR THE FIGHTERS

Anti-Valentine’s Day may be the best option for those who aren’t into the lovey dovey stuff of its counterpart. You can be angsty, sad, happy, or downright bitter. The point is to have fun and bask in the greatness that is yourself. Or your friends. Or whatever.

1. Be a Hater. Seriously, no one will judge you today. Get a group of people together and amass a collection of romantic comedies, and roast the hell out of them. Have a contest to see who can make the snarkiest comments.

2. Bask in Your Greatness. Just because you’re single doesn’t mean you have to have a horrible day. Take the day to do whatever it is you want. Buy yourself some nice clothes and go out with your homies. Dancing has been proven to alleviate stress and can even boost the levels of endorphins released.

3. Throw a Party! Gather a group of fellow singles and anti-Valentine’s Day homies and do it big (or small). Complete with anti-love songs, broken hearted sugar cookies, and the staple of most anti-valentine’s day parties: the generic ex voodoo doll. Let’s not put hexes on people, but the idea of a sour soiree with all your closest friends is a nice idea. Pro tip: if you wait until February 15, all the candy will be discounted.

[ANTI-VALENTINE’S DAY PLAYLIST SIDEBAR]

The Anti-Playlist

“I Don’t F*** With You” by Big Sean

“That It, I Quit, I’m Movin’ On” by Adele

“Blank Space” by Taylor Swift

“No Scrubs” by TLC

“99 Problems” by Hugo

“You Need Me, I Don’t Need You” by Ed Sheeran

“Parasite” by C.C. Sheffield

“Rumor Has It” by Adele