I Do buuut I Don’t: The Big Commitment in College? The Married Life vs. Going Solo
February 3, 2015
It’s coming, we’re literally a week away from Valentines day (AKA single awareness day). This has a lot of people thinking about relationships. As we reach the end of Cuffing season, we decided to look at the two extremes of college dating: Married and single.
You’ve got your friend that’s out to find The One, the friend who’s already got that, and the one who wants to have as many Ones as they can squeeze into the four or five years they’re here – Oh, and let’s not forget the one here for an education. Because who knew that was a thing?
Many succeed, many fail and many just don’t give a damn. Regardless of your relationship status, it’s always important to know the benefits and short-comings of any situation.
THE MARRIED LIFE
Jacquelyn Lewis, senior pre-physican’s assistant biology major, has been married a little over a year now. Her husband, Josh, is currently deployed. On top of her studies and marriage, Lewis also belongs to Delta Phi Epsilon and works as a Community Leader.
“I turned away from him for something and that’s when he got down, but I thought he fell so I turned around was like ‘What are you doing?’” Lewis said, “That’s when he proposed, but I freaked out. I froze, obviously I said yes, but I was just like ‘Did you tell my Mom?’”
Lewis and her husband had a shorter engagement, wanting to be married before Josh deployed. For her, the pros are easy: commitment and having a support system.
Joanna Rosenwald, junior child and family service major, has been engaged nearly a year. Her fiancé, Matt, recently graduated and works as a teacher. Rosenwald also likes the commitment and support of a lifelong partner.
“It’s nice to be past those first stages of dating where you’re so shy and weird around each other,” Rosenwald said, “You can completely be yourself. There’s a constant support system.”
Both admit that there are cons to such serious relationships, and see the pros in the single life.
“Don’t just settle for anyone because you’re lonely or you think you aren’t going to find anyone else. There is a huge undiscovered world out there with tons of people in it,” Rosenwald said.
Though many people view such commitments as restricting, Rosenwald says being “tied down” isn’t all bad.
For Lewis, the con is the difficulty in balancing all of her responsibilities. Between school, work, her sorority, friends and her marriage, Lewis says managing her priorities can get overwhelming.
“It depends on the person though, to see if you want that responsibility. It’s not just you you’re taking care of anymore; it’s someone else, too,” Lewis said.
THE SINGLE LIFE
So you’re single and it’s A-okay. Relationships may be the goal for some, but others may have no interest in them. Here are most common reasons people decide to stay single:
PRO: MORE ME TIME.
For Brittnee Chongling, junior child and family service major, self-growth is precisely the reason.
“I’m not trying to get into a relationship,” Chongling said, “I’m just trying to find myself.”
PRO: FREEDOM, SWEET FREEDOM.
Others may feel that they aren’t ready for that type of commitment.
“It’s nice to have the freedom to do what you want and it doesn’t hurt anyone,” Kelly Clarke, senior anthropology major, said.
The biggest cons to not having a boo?
Nevermind that Valentine’s Day is right around the corner. For people like Chongling and Clarke, the biggest drawbacks are not having a “cuddle buddy” and not having someone there to support them.
“You don’t have anyone to talk to about life and the little things,” Chongling said.
While there are friends, something tells me it isn’t the same thing.
So, in the mean time, keep tying those knots…or you know, run. Run far away. That’s okay too.