Graduation “To Do” List Part 7


Matt Sowell

Weeks: 1
Days: 10
Hours: 240

9) Visit Freedom
You realize you’ve never actually seen the bird show staring Freedom, so you decide you should do that. When you arrive at the raptor center, you stand in a VIP Seniors Only line to get a chance to go backstage and meet the famous foul. You make your way back to his dressing room; it’s the fanciest room you’ve ever seen.
Freedom says you can ask him one question. You ask him if there’s life after college, because you aren’t really sure anymore. It kind of seems like GSU isn’t letting you out of this alive. Freedom laughs and says he’ll see you at the stadium in ten days.

8) Visit Club Hendy
It’s time to #party and get #turnt. What better place to do that then Club Hendy? You put on your favorite sweatpants and grab all the paper you can find. The four story club is thumpin’ with the latest hits, including (but not limited to) “Lots of Crying” by Senioritus, “Lets Talk Loudly” by Freshman, and “So Quiet You’ll Think You’re Losing it” by The Fourth Floor. You party all night, by the time you leave you’re sweating and have only written about half of the paper you wanted to.

7) Start Packing
You come home and examine your room. Posters, maps, tapestries and old memories decorate the walls. You focus on one really embarrassing poster that was in your dorm when you were a freshman. You take it down because you’re an adult now. When you lay in bed that night, you can’t sleep. There’s a hole where the poster used to be, and it feels weird. You put the poster back up because you don’t have to be an adult just yet.

6) Visit Russell Union
It’s a proven fact that most seniors pretty much move into their respective buildings, for example, all of the journalism majors live in the basement of Sanford. So, you decide to leave your building to take a nostalgic walk back to the old RU. You enter and see a bunch of kids. A SOAR group is walking through. The kids (most look about 7 years old) walk hand-in-hand.
You accidently bump into one. “Whoops,” you say. “I didn’t see you there, I’m a senior.”
“Oh, me too! I go to Ware County High XD,” they respond. Shit, maybe you are too old for this. You see the ghost of Erk on the second floor, he gives you a thumbs up. It’s time to graduate. You get ready for the final week at Georgia Southern University.

This article is satirical, and we encourage readers to please drink responsibly.