InkPOOP: 5 Places to Take Your On-Campus S***



By Jess Brannen, Web Editor

You know the all-too-familiar feeling. You’re walking through campus, coffee in hand, and a certain -ahem- sensation overcomes you. Choosing a bathroom is typically a matter of proximity, but who wants to do the doo in a crowded restroom? With these go-to spots in your arsenal, you’re sure to have a little on-campus privacy.

  1. Upstairs in the Library

Let’s face it – you’re already here, studying and chugging coffee, so the library is the perfect place to “go.” But choose wisely, or you’ll end up in the leftmost stall in the downstairs girls’ restroom that splashes when you flush. No, the upstairs bathroom is the place to go for ultimate privacy.

  1. Downstairs in the MCC Building

Just past Quiznos and WoW Cafe lies one of the most isolated restrooms known to man. Here you won’t have to worry about smells. Yours. Someone else’s. Someone else’s that someone might think is yours.

  1. Victor Hall

Yeah, yeah, I know what you’re thinking. The admissions faculty potties here! True. But what’s the worst that could happen? I mean, it’s not like you’ll see them awkwardly in class later.

  1. Aquatic and Recreation Center

Inside this building, to the immediate left, lies the best place to have a quiet moment with your bowels. Resembling more of a closet than a loo, this bathroom allows you all the time you need. No more poop stalemates with another individual in a stall beside yours, because there is no other stall. That’s right. Pure solitude and endless time to peruse the apps on your iPhone.

  1. Upstairs in the Student Union

This one is a little iffy for two reasons. One: if there’s an event upstairs, this bathroom is hoppin’. Two: overzealous, automatically flushing toilets. But hey, it still beats bathrooms with more traffic!