Being Content With Your Love Life, or Lack of One

Yasmeen Waliaga

Every time you get on social media, you see the same types of articles constantly being shared; they constantly bring up the topic of being in love.  Then, you open a magazine, watch a movie, read a book, and it’s all the same; “10 ways to make him fall for you,” “5 reasons why being single is the new thing,” “20 reasons why modern dating culture is wrong.”
Do you see the pattern? First, it’s all measurements.  Everything is being counted and ranked, which isn’t how real love works.  Second, every article is pointing out something “wrong;” something wrong with being single, something wrong with being in a relationship.  Your relationship status is never “correct” in the eyes of the public and the media and, that is not how it should work.  Why do you need to have a “status” anyways?  Is it our way of justifying our sexual and mental worth to everyone we associate with or our way of proving it to ourselves?  No matter what our reason is, its wrong, just like those articles we continue to rely on for dating advice.
Love shouldn’t work this way.  Your admiration for someone shouldn’t be verified by the amount of tips you take into consideration from an article you read in a magazine.  As a matter of fact, your admiration for someone should remain exactly what it is, a meaningful feeling for another.  Why does it have to be so complicated? Why do we find ourselves either frantically searching for “the one” or being overly boastful of “the single life?”  We hear about the people who are happily in a relationship or proudly single, but we never consider those who are just soaking up the water in whatever “dating pool” they are in.
There is nothing wrong with being committed to someone else and there is no problem with being independent and sexually liberated.  What is concerning is those individuals who allow themselves to be defined by their relationship status.  If you are defined by your significant other, or defined by your ability to freely do things for yourself, what happens when your situation changes?  What happens when get sucked into a relationship unexpectedly or propelled from one suddenly? What do you have to stand on then?
The culture of dating today needs a serious reality check.  What matters is not when you will end up in your next relationship.  What matters is how well acquainted you are with yourself, how comfortable you are in a world full of comparisons and judgment based upon your “relationship status.”Just find a place where you are content and then let the rest find you.  You might be surprised.