Armstrong Offers New Mandatory Classes, Students Must Register Immediately



BREAKING NEWS! Students Must Register For New Required Courses

Students will now have to register for the NBP-1000 class which is the newest essential course offered at the Armstrong campus. NBP-1000 is a required 1 credit-hour course for freshmen and incoming students.

NBP-1000, also known as Nickelback Photograph, is an introductory level course in which students must attend one class per week in addition to their other courses. Students will watch the Nickelback “Photograph” music video on loop for the entire duration of the 2-hour class period.

Students will be required to write a 5 page thesis relating to the course at the end of the semester. If students fail this course they must attend a live concert of Nickelback singing “Photograph” on loop for 18 consistent hours for credit recovery.

This course is a prerequisite for the newest elective courses that will be introduced next semester: E2EM-101 and BOTH-2111. Early 2000’s Emo Music and Blocking Out The Haters are non-essential courses, but highly recommended by Georgia Southern President Punxsutawney Phil.

“No comment,” said President Phil. “Word,” I said.


Editor’s Note: This article is satirical. Or is it?