Marrero Law on Armstrong Campus

Marrero Law on Armstrong Campus

Editor’s Note: This article is satirical and is not to be taken serious.

SAVANNAH- Georgia Southern University will be enacting, what they call, “a much-needed change” on the *Armstrong* campus: Marrero Law.

This is not to be confused with Marshall Law, which is temporary. Armstrong will be undergoing a new way of life.

Here are a few of the changes as listed by University Communications:

  • Students will now be required to dress in uniform. See Marrero’s tailor for more details. Sherri is filled with excitement about the influx of prospective customers.
  • There will be no use of the word *Armstrong* on this campus (it is only used in this article for educational purposes).
  • Students will be required to listen to undercover Indie rock band, The Script’s, “Hall of fame” at the start of every day to “inspire greatness.”
  • The Humanities majors will be removed from *Armstrong* campus. Instead, there will be a focus on STEM courses to prepare Savannah students for the upcoming Hyundai plant.
  • The Jenkins Black Box theatre will now be used for a new required course: COMM 3011: The Marrerian.

When asked about the new changes, University Communications and Marketing commented, “You can be the greatest. You can be the best with Marrero Law. The University wants what is best for the students.”

No comment was made on whether the Statesboro campus will also be put under Marrero Law.

The students seem to be buzzing with anticipation. “I want to be just like Marrero when I graduate,” marketing student Vince Tukers said with a slight quiver in his voice.

This is the current comprehensive list of changes, but the University Communications and Marketing team has made it clear that there is room for amendments to be made in light of students’ behavior under the new law. Students can expect to see these changes by the Fall of ‘23.

Check under your EAB tab for updates. Failure to comply with any of the changes will result in immediate [REDACTED].