What Not to Put in Your Dating Profile Bio

What Not to Put in Your Dating Profile Bio

Noelle Walker

We’ve all been there. We’ve succumbed to the swiping: left, left, left, right, maybe–wait, nevermind, left. But then you come across a profile and wowza. This dude is hawt. Each picture keeps getting better and better.  You think it is literally a match made in heaven. But then you read his bio and become the human embodiment of this GIF:

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Bios are important. We read those. They need to be good. While I can only speak for the female population on what not to put in your dating profile biography, I believe (most) of these can apply to both sexes as well.

“Looking for My Future Ex-Wife”

Promising a future that ultimately leads to divorce? How could I not swipe right?

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Nothing 

Would you apply for a job with nothing on your resume? No. Show us you care; write a bio.

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Measurements 

You know what I’m talking about.

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“Don’t Swipe right if [insert here]” 

Do you really want to end up missing out on your soulmate because they don’t like green olives?

(Better Alternative: Swipe right if [insert here])

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Something related to going to a bar if you’re under 21 

Don’t say you’ll take me to the bar if you’re 19 or 20. It doesn’t work like that.

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Spelling Errors

This may just be the writer in me, but being grammatically incorrect in your profile is a turn off. Sure, I can look past it if it’s one or two spelling errors, but not when it’s every other word. Please let spellcheck be your wingman.

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An Essay 

I don’t need an essay explaining your whole life story. Keep it simple. Add some mystery.

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“I’m here for a good time not a long time.” 

Now I’m thinking about your funeral in twenty years.

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Anything Kinky 

Save that for the third date.

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Your first impression of a person on a dating app or website comes from the biography. Make yours a good one.